Monthly Archives: July 2024

Forced Social Justice Creates the Foundation for a Backlash

24 Wednesday Jul 2024

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“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

– Martin Luther King Jr.

The Seeds of Failure

It’s been incredibly difficult to write this post. It feels like I’m grappling with live wires, but this is an essential topic to address. Over the past 70 years, the United States has witnessed a series of social movements that have expanded the rights of many oppressed groups. However, the tactics employed by these movements have undergone dramatic shifts. Each movement faced vehement opposition from conservatives, and their successes have been mixed. We now stand at a crossroads. While there’s a renewed push for progress with new strategies, some of these methods have inadvertently sown the seeds of a larger failure. I believe these approaches to be counterproductive and have generated a significant backlash. The reasons behind this are logical and rooted in basic human psychology.

A prime example can be found with attacks on masculinity from the left. The #MeToo movement has shed light on important excesses surrounding masculinity. We have seen masculinity attacked and broadly reviled for good reasons. It has also been a particularly difficult time for young men. The reasons are varied and mostly tangentially related to #MeToo. However, it’s important to remember that healthy masculinity exists. Modern masculinity should be built on respect,empathy, and consent. The use of power and strength should be responsible and used to help those who are weaker.

The #MeToo movement primarily highlighted the misuse of power by some men. There masculinity is a force against the weak leading to sexual violence. Unfortunately, the critique of masculinity has to led many men to embrace a more negative and spiteful form. This is what some might call “pathological masculinity” or toxic masculinity. This is exemplified by figures like Donald Trump (though Joe Rogan, Dana White, and MMA culture can also be seen as reflections of this too). The lack of a compelling alternative from progressives has further complicated the issue. There needs to be a compelling althernative. Without a positive vision of masculinity, many men are drawn to the more aggressive and dangerous traditional form.

“When all Americans are treated as equal, no matter who they are or whom they love, we are all more free.”

— Barack Obama

Online Social Movements

Social movements today increasingly leverage online tactics to achieve equality. These tactics include online attacks, trolling, doxing, and social media campaigns. While these methods can diminish expressions of oppression, they are ultimately harmful. Cancellation, the complete removal of a person from public discourse for expressing a dissenting view, is particularly destructive. While it may feel like a victory for the movement, it sows the seeds of future problems.

Instead of fostering debate, these tactics shut down opposing ideas. This has several negative consequences.

  • First, it undermines the principle of free speech, a cornerstone of a healthy society.
  • Second, it casts violators as victims, garnering them sympathy.
  • Third, it avoids defeating ideas through logic and reason, relying on force instead.

This reliance on force is a tactic more commonly used by the political right. In many ways it defines the right. It creates enemies rather than allies, and silences those who might be open to progressive ideas. Fear, not persuasion, becomes the tool for change. This fear breeds resistance, leading to the very backlash we are witnessing today.

“Every single American — gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, transgender — every single American deserves to be treated equally in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of our society. It’s a pretty simple proposition.”

— Barack Obama

This is not to say that conservatives do not use cancellation themselves. The whole book banning and “don’t say gay” approach is cancellation. Anything in the realm of sexuality and sex positivity is cancelled on the right. Just look at the ridiculous ways sex is “hidden” of social media (s3x, fugg, etc). It is outright censorship. They use force and institutions under their control to remove things they oppose. Their approach is terrible in all the same ways as described above. We would all be better off if this approach was abandoned whole cloth by both sides. The violation of free speech principles is an abdication of cherished American ideals. By the same token cancellation is the use of force where the battle should be for ideas and ideals. With the temporary victories of cancellation comes the foundation of backlash.

“The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.”

– Audre Lorde

A Nuanced View

One area where leftist ideology loses ground to the right is its handling of historical figures. When we judge past figures by today’s progressive standards, it weakens the left’s position. Instead of honoring those who started the nation’s progress, the left inadvertently turns them into conservative symbols. This reinforces ideas that undermine progress. The Supreme Court’s use of originalism to restrict rights exemplifies this, treating the Founders’ ideas as eternally valid.

The real truth is that the Founding Fathers were considered extremely progressive in their own time. It’s ironic that their ideas are now used to hinder progress. While they certainly had flaws and made mistakes by modern standards, judging them solely through today’s lens paints an incomplete picture. We should view their nature in today’s terms as a testament to the progress we’ve made.

Essentially, yesterday’s radical progressives resemble today’s conservatives. This should be a source of optimism. It shows how far we’ve come. We should celebrate their contributions to our advancement rather than dismiss them. Additionally,this approach weakens the arguments of those on the left who seem overly critical of past figures. The left just looks like they are attacking and tearing down a hero. Instead any critique should be done with nuance and perspective.

The inability to consider nuance is a common thread across all forms of extremism, both left and right. Most issues surrounding personal rights involve a great deal of individual variation. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for social problems, especially those related to gender, sexuality, or race. These topics are full of complexities and individual differences. Efforts to impose uniformity are doomed to fail. While the right is known for its one-size-fits-all solutions, it’s a failing strategy for the left as well. Nuance is key to truly accepting individuals as equals.

While I personally support most social movements, empathy and compassion are ultimately the drivers of progress.”Cancel culture” and online language policing are examples of force being used. Force is a tool of oppression, not progress. Progressive social justice cannot be achieved through coercion. Force and social justice are fundamentally incompatible. Empathy is fostered by shared experiences and the desire to understand and be understood by others.Simply forcing people to acknowledge another’s rights leads to a superficial adherence to equality, not lasting change.

True equality comes from believing everyone deserves basic rights. It arises from recognizing that everyone deserves the same rights you do, even if they seem different. The route to this is empathy and compassion growing within opponents of equality. Progressives should acknowledge the progress made while maintaining patience and perspective. There are still many areas needing improvement, and vulnerable populations remain. The right often demonizes specific groups for their own gain, as seen with the shift from targeting gay men as predators to attacking drag queens and transgender people. The gay population is largely accepted by society today, and new targets are needed to fuel the backlash.

A concerning trend in social movements today is the focus on amplifying negativity. Effective social change relies on empathy and compassion, not shame. Shame is a harmful tool, particularly when used to police women’s sexuality. Online shaming tactics, like cancellation and doxxing, are a form of bullying that can lead to real-world violence and destroy lives. A more constructive approach is needed. We must engage with those who hold opposing views, even those deemed problematic. Understanding their perspectives is crucial. Instead of simply dismissing opposing ideas, we should navigate the differences. This fosters growth and allows for the development of new perspectives that can garner wider support. The current strategy of online shaming only creates entrenched opposition and fuels backlash.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.”

— Brené Brown

A Personal Experience

I experienced the power of understanding firsthand during a virtual work meeting a few years ago. It was an icebreaker at the beginning of a meeting, and I was getting to know my new, younger manager. As a natural storyteller, I shared a Thanksgiving anecdote about serving a standing rib roast instead of a traditional turkey. This upset my son who I said felt “gypped.”

Immediately, I sensed a shift. My manager was visibly horrified. Shame washed over me. This was a term I’d used throughout my childhood, completely unaware of its offensive connotation towards the Romani people (often referred to as “gypsies”). I didn’t even know how to spell it correctly – I simply thought it meant “to be cheated.” I’ve come to realize that there was a lot of subtle racism in my upbringing casually offered by relatives.

In that moment, I felt unfairly judged as a racist or an ignorant person. Thankfully, my new manager listened openly. I explained my lack of awareness, and she, in turn, explained the term’s true meaning with compassion. We both approached the situation with empathy and a willingness to learn. We navigated the awkwardness gracefully, and it ultimately fostered a positive working relationship that later blossomed into friendship. This is the power of understanding, empathy, and compassion on both sides.

“Race, gender, religion, sexuality, we are all people and that’s it. We’re all people. We’re all equal.”

― Connor Franta

A crucial step towards sustainable progress is following the simple rule of “don’t be an asshole.” Especially online,encountering outrage should prompt you to question its effectiveness. Cancel culture often embodies this negativity and generates asshole behavior.

Understanding your own place in society, particularly if you come from a position of privilege, is essential. Intersectionality, the idea that we all have multiple social identities, is a valuable tool for this. These identities can be visible and obvious, or hidden and nuanced. For example, I am a white, middle-aged male. I have a high level of education and a great job in science. I identify as mostly straight, married, and polyamorous (although socially monogamous).

All these aspects contribute to who I am. Some provide advantages and conformity, while others challenge societal norms and even put me at a disadvantage. Recognizing these disadvantages fosters empathy for those who cannot hide their identities. This empathy is a powerful tool for progress, accessible to almost everyone. This accessibility comes from a place of authenticity, a desirable behavior for everyone to feel.

“We will not win our rights by staying quietly in our closets.”

— Harvey Milk

At its core, my view is that progress requires letting go of force and embracing empathy, understanding, and compassion.Social justice is achieved through better ideas and challenging traditional viewpoints. We need to change hearts and minds, not force compliance. Forceful tactics create a false sense of progress that quickly fades. Real social change is lasting and permanent.

Next week, I’ll return to a technical topic: the power of algorithms in advancing computational performance.

We don’t have leaders

13 Saturday Jul 2024

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We don’t have leaders

“Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.”

– Colin Powell.

Over the past few years, I’ve made a broad observation of “leaders” I encounter: they don’t lead. Instead, they seem to market the success of their role through positive messaging. This leadership style feels highly performative, offering little actual leadership. It’s like a reality TV show – they’re pretending to be leaders. Their communication is tinged with an almost uniformly positive message. If things were always going great, such positivity would be appropriate. However, the problem is that things are not going well. Therefore, the constant positivity in their messaging becomes toxic and inhibits any focus or attention on solving the numerous problems we face. Right now, the USA seems to be careening towards catastrophe.

The Elephant and Donkey in the Room

Over the past couple of weeks, we’ve been seeing this play out at the highest stakes possible: the US Presidential race. It’s replete with examples of deeply concerning leadership. Both political parties appear irresponsible. We have the recent example of Joe Biden’s continued candidacy. He’s clearly showing the effects of aging. In response, we see widespread gaslighting, with people telling us to ignore the obvious. Leaders are saying one thing in public and the opposite in private. Meanwhile, this allows Biden to maintain the status quo, protecting his ego. He’s acting just as selfishly as his opponent. He’s not doing what’s best for the nation and is failing to show leadership.

On the other side, we have an even greater demonstration of cowardice and failure. The entire Republican party has surrendered to Donald Trump. Their candidate can be most charitably described as a grifter. More accurately, he’s a habitual liar and convicted criminal. He’s engaged in numerous acts that would disqualify him from any position of authority. His first term as President was demonstrably incompetent. Were he not the President, he could never obtain a security clearance. Yet, the entire leadership of the GOP caved in the face of him. Everyone remaining in the GOP was too cowardly to stand up to Trump. They all prioritized their personal success and power over the good of the nation. They all essentially said, “Let’s support the crazy guy.”

“Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.”

― Colin Powell,

In both cases, all the leaders have chosen their own success over the good of the nation. We see a systematic failure to confront objective reality because it is too difficult and risky. Obvious problems are ignored and minimized. The personal goals of the individuals in power overwhelm any sense of duty. Those in power turn out to be selfish narcissists. None of them are fit for leadership as a result. This behavior is not limited to the top of the power chain.

The Connection to the Covid-19 Pandemic

“One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency.”

—Arnold Glasow

All of this started to come to a head with Covid-19. However, to be honest, the trend had been building for a long time, even before that. President Trump’s constant dismissal of reality, claiming the virus would just disappear, exemplified this behavior. This pattern repeated itself down the chain of command and across organizations. While Covid-19 was the peak of this toxic positivity, many smaller issues are communicated in the same way.

This cognitive dissonance, the disconnect between what leaders say and reality, resulted in deaths during the pandemic. A national crisis was exacerbated by inaction. Even worse, the pattern of ignoring problems and inaction seems to be escalating. The success of leaders who practice this approach almost guarantees we’ll see more of it, until it ultimately leads to their downfall.

While the pandemic was the most high-profile example of abysmal leadership, it’s hardly unique. The inability to speak truth and focus on problems appears to be an epidemic itself. I see this constantly within the institutions I interact with. Another prominent example is Boeing, where deadly consequences arose from two crashes and recent near misses. We’re witnessing a once-great company in freefall, destroying its reputation with each calamity.

If we delve deeper into the reasons for this lack of focus on reality in leadership, money emerges as a central issue. In the case of the pandemic, there was a fear of spooking the economy. With Boeing, the focus was on protecting shareholder value by keeping stock prices from dropping. Time and again, the threat of bad news impacting finances seems to be a top priority for leaders. It would be naive to believe that Boeing is an isolated case. Boeing is a canary in the coal mine, a warning sign of danger ahead.

One key takeaway is that leadership positions often lead to wealth. Even lower-level managers are well-compensated compared to those they manage. Furthermore, the potential for promotion is highly attractive. Preserving these personal benefits by avoiding waves and keeping the status quo intact allows this entire dysfunctional system to persist. In essence, our leaders are incentivized not to lead and expose the incompetence that surrounds and surpasses them.

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”

– Abraham Lincoln.

Money is the Only Thing We Care About

“Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” ― Peter Drucker

A key element is the rise of money as power. In today’s world, money is the heart of personal power. Leaders hold significantly more wealth and power than those they lead. This can lead many to cling to these positions far longer than is beneficial, neglecting important concerns. We’ve become a society where money is the sole measure of worth, overshadowing other values like quality, ethics, and humanity (e.g., Boeing). Financial gain is seen as the only measure of success and grants immense power. In the corporate world, shareholder value becomes the excuse for prioritizing profits over all else. This trend is a product of the neoliberal era.

This, in turn, fuels vast societal inequality, creating a leadership class with an existence entirely divorced from those they claim to lead. Leaders, naturally, are unwilling to relinquish their privilege. We also see the corrosive and dangerous aspects of concentrated wealth and power. Those in power view losing their leadership roles as a personal threat, and they actively work to maintain the status quo for their own benefit. Falling out of the leadership class translates to a significant decline in both economic standing and societal influence.

Preserving the status quo is paramount. One way to enact change is to begin addressing problems. Ignoring and perpetuating problems simply affirms the status quo. This, in many ways, explains the rightward shift. Conservatives generally favor the status quo and upholding tradition, which benefits those in power. Since power in the US is heavily tied to money, we see an alliance emerge: moneyed interests and conservatives working together to preserve the existing order.

Leading the charge for the GOP is the Supreme Court. They have transformed from a legal oracle into a partisan entity. The recent immunity ruling is arguably one of the worst decisions in history, destined to stand alongside Dred Scott in infamy. The outcome could very well lead to the dismantling of the Court and the nation itself. It’s a recipe for dictatorship. The Court relies on the Executive Branch to enforce its rulings. If the executive branch disagrees, they can now break the law with impunity. Essentially, power now resides with the President, not the law. While the Court seized significant power over the executive branch, they ultimately relinquished it all back to the President. The nation’s future hangs in the balance. We could very well descend into a de facto dictatorship, effectively losing any semblance of a functioning democracy.

Toxic Positivity

“The supreme quality of leadership is integrity.”

–Dwight Eisenhower

A significant portion of the problem stems from the overuse of toxic positivity in communication. Effective leadership hinges on clear communication and directing human effort towards shared goals. Leaders who filter out problems to create a narrative of perfect circumstances erode trust. When a leader assures you everything is great while you know it’s not, it raises a red flag. This destroys trust not only in that specific situation but also makes you question their honesty in general. This continuous erosion of trust contributes to the decline in societal trust as a whole. Each selective edit of reality feels like another betrayal, leading us to view leaders as habitual liars and fostering cynicism. While acknowledging problems can be difficult, it’s a crucial aspect of leadership. Bullshitting people with positivity is cowardly and destroys trust.

The issue of toxic positivity has profoundly impacted my life. In 2020, I had a close friend who demanded nothing but positivity during interactions. As a therapist, she dealt with people’s problems all day, so it’s understandable that she craved positivity outside of work. However, 2020 was a year of significant challenges, and the inability to share these burdens within our friendship caused me distress. Despite being part of my social circle, I eventually distanced myself due to the one-sided nature of the relationship. Her insistence on positivity came at the expense of balance, ultimately undermining the friendship.

Toxic positivity is a telltale sign of a leadership problem. Instead of honesty, we’re offered the soothing but meaningless platitudes of positivity. Problems are denied, and everything is portrayed as being under perfect control. When reality contradicts this narrative, problems fester or become hidden secrets that divide people. Leaders who resort to toxic positivity simply aren’t leading. They have no intention of tackling complex or time-consuming issues. Their strategy is to manipulate communication to maintain their leadership position and hope that problems remain hidden. This approach is infectious, and upper leaders often establish a “shoot the messenger” culture that discourages reporting bad news. This, in turn, perpetuates the cycle of toxic positivity throughout the organization.

One cannot simply dictate positivity. Life is inherently complex. The same principle applies to leaders; they cannot be effective without balance. True leadership requires a blend of acknowledging the good and the bad. Leaders who lack the ability to admit problems or recognize failures cannot lead effectively. They should celebrate successes and use them as springboards for growth. Identifying problems allows them to rally their followers to address them. It is through solving problems that leaders achieve greatness. Ultimately, the greatest success comes from transforming problems into opportunities. Unfortunately, this virtuous cycle seems to have been lost. Today, some leaders believe they can manipulate their way to success through messaging and pronounce problems solved simply by declaration.

“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.”

—Max DePree

Given the high stakes involved, what can be done? The philosophy of Victor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, offers an answer. His concept of “tragic optimism” acknowledges that problems are inevitable. Death, for example, is a universal experience. We will all face tragedy repeatedly. However, tragic optimism encourages us to approach these inevitable challenges with the belief that they can be overcome. We can not only survive but also thrive in the face of tragedy. This requires acknowledging problems head-on. This is the foundation of great leadership. This philosophy can guide us towards a brighter future. However, we can only achieve this by rejecting the current generation of “leaders.” We should demand honest problem-solvers who act in the best interests of the institutions they lead. Only when we stop rewarding cowardice with power and riches can we truly turn the corner.

“My own definition of leadership is this: The capacity and the will to rally men and women to a common purpose and the character which inspires confidence.”

—General Montgomery

Next week, I will discuss the societal reckoning we are approaching in relation to social justice movements. While the causes may be just, I believe the current methods employed to achieve social justice are counterproductive. We need to re-evaluate our strategic approach to building a better society.

Assholes are having a moment

05 Friday Jul 2024

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As I started to write and research this piece one thing is clear; I am not alone in seeing this. There seems to be a wide recognition that assholes are having a moment. We have the obvious example of the asshole-in-chief, Donald Trump. For him being an asshole is a badge of distinction and earns him a cult like following. The fact that our seemingly likely next President is a complete asshole is troubling. It probably should be a red flag for the Nation. We are in deep danger. Perhaps we should understand why?

A couple instances come to mind that crystalized this issue in my mind. The first happened in an odd location. I was on vacation in Cancun at an all inclusive resort. We were eating lunch and a guy came in with a t-shirt saying “Assholes Live Forever”. He was definitely projecting right wing coded energy. The thing that made the t-shirt notable was a general intent at the resort to be attractive to the opposite sex. This asshole thought being an asshole was attractive to women. Now in my experience women try to avoid assholes like the plague. Assholes are terrrible lovers, terrible about consent and terrible to people. They are dangerous. Apparently being an asshole is attractive to right wing ladies? What the fuck?

“I will canoodle with a dumb man, but I won’t snuggle with an asshole.” ― Rachel Howzell Hall

More recently I was chatting with a good friend at a conference. My friend had just led a fantastic session-discussion of the nature of masculinity in today’s world. The session touched on a wide range of issues including a full spectrum of intersectionality. A common thread is that I had met this friend on a previous trip to Cancun.. We are seemingly quite different, but immediately vibed and connected personally. He’s black, gay, Brooklynite, and works in music while I’m a white straight scientist from the Western USA. The topic of assholes came up within intersectionality. My point was that we need to recognize assholes. Assholes are present in all identities black, white, male, female, non-binary or trans. Gay, lesbian or bisexual people can be assholes too. Assholes need to be called out and identified as being toxic to whatever spaces they occupy.

A great deal of discussion around masculinity focused on the standard view. This is the “alpha” male who defines masculinity through power, aggression, and lack of emotion. No compassion or empathy is allowed. That would show weakness. Never apologize for being wrong because that is weakness. This is a great recipe for being an asshole. The discussion at the conference talked about vulnerability, openness, empathy and compassion. All of these ideas are strongly coded with political valence. In other words, assholes are accepted and promoted on the right. Assholes exist on the left, but are generally reviled (they exist specifically associated with social causes).

Assholes seem to be a defining feature of the right wing. As noted the leading figure on the right, Trump is just a pure asshole. He is a piece of shit of a man and proud of it. His supporters adore him for it. Every bit of that alpha male attitude is projected (although he’s not very alpha). No empathy or compassion, and definitely never apologize because you’re never wrong. I’ve seen how right wing ladies are looking for an asshole to date or fuck. They see being an asshole as being tantamount to being a man’s man. They like men who are bigots and hateful because that is strength. Men who bring out that kind of middle school locker room energy toward anything feminine or non traditional. Any space for LBGTQ is simply unacceptable. The right wing governance is full of assholes and they are rewarded for it.

“The problem with the world today is that there are too many assholes and not enough saints.” ― R.M. Engelhardt

Why do they like assholes? I think this is an essential issue to answer. Part of this is the general issue of masculinity today. The cultural reckoning around men (#MeToo) has resulted in a reaction on the right. There is little doubt that men are having trouble today and especially young men. The answer on the right is traditional roles. Traditional masculinity does not work any more. The right’s reaction is to double down on the status quo. Much like the BLM movement produced a reaction on the right.

What we get is performative masculinity that most commonly creates the asshole vibe. Trump is a perfect example. He is hardly masculine or manly. His toupee and makeup alone challenge this view. He isn’t really athletic. He lies about his physique, height and weight. He likely lies about his health and intellect. Golf is barely a sport, being more of an activity for businessmen and white guys. Even there he is an asshole with compulsive lying and cheating at golf. Yet his supporters love him because he is such a massive asshole. One might think all this lying and cheating would undermine the performative masculinity. Instead the desire for “owning the libs” gets them to look the other way. It is quite pathetic, but effective.

I believe a big part of the appeal of the asshole is authenticity. Trump is an authentic asshole. Being an asshole is Trump’s true and natural self. This is appealing to many people and a sign of huge problems. He is not authentic as a leader. The leader part of Trump is pure performance. The problem is that almost all the other leadership is performative too. So without leadership we are left with assholery as the alternative. This does not work for a good future for anyone. The lack of genuine authentic leadership is a future topic. A punchline of that condition is assholery as the alternative.

What makes someone an asshole? I got a pretty good answer from Google’s LLM Gemini (describes Donald Trump accurately!).

Asshole behavior can come in many flavors, but some common traits include:

  • Disrespectful: This is a big one. Assholes put themselves above others and don’t consider other people’s feelings or needs. They might interrupt constantly, talk down to people, or make rude jokes at someone’s expense.
  • Selfish: Assholes are all about themselves. They take more than their fair share, don’t reciprocate favors, and only care about what benefits them.
  • Unaccountable: They never take responsibility for their mistakes and are always quick to blame others.
  • Aggressive: They might be verbally or even physically aggressive, but they also might use aggression in a more subtle way, like constantly putting others down.
  • Unreliable: You can’t count on them to follow through on commitments or be there for you when you need them.

Here are some other behaviors that can be signs of an asshole:

  • Cheating
  • Lying constantly
  • Being condescending or arrogant
  • Not listening to others
  • Taking advantage of people
  • Publicly criticizing or humiliating others

It’s important to remember that context matters. Sometimes people might act in a way that seems like an asshole behavior,but there could be a good explanation. But if these behaviors are a pattern, then it’s a good sign you’re dealing with an asshole. Virtually all of us have been assholes at some time or another. A question is whether you can stop being an asshole or regret it. At the core is a general lack of empathy or compassion for others. Often this comes at using one’s power to abuse or take advantage of others without a feeling of conscience.

As I noted above the left has assholes. Most of them exist in the general area of “cancel culture”. The whole aspect of cancelling people is an absolute gift for the right. Time and time again the right weaponizes the left’s overreach to terrifying effect. The social movements driving the attacks are ultimately undone. This is a common thread today where many social movements are being attacked. Women, blacks and LBGTQ are all under attack. Rights and equality is being lost, not gained.

“Ninety percent of all problems are caused by people being assholes.” “What causes the other ten percent?” asked Kizzy. “Natural disasters,” said Nib.”

― Becky Chambers

A good example of assholery is found in the space of pronouns. The right is full of performative assholery around pronoun use. Not using someone’s chosen name after it is requested is awful. Its like someone says “please call me Bill” and the asshole will keep saying “Billy”. It is the definition of being an asshole. On the other hand, it can be difficult if the pronoun isn’t typical or obvious. Yet people on the left can be unforgiving about these difficulties. The question is whether someone is trying to honor the request. If someone is trying to honor it, but having difficulty, give them grace. Lashing out makes you the asshole if the desire to comply is earnest.

Am I the Asshole? This is an increasingly popular place on Reddit. The positive aspect is that the thread actually asks the question with the implied message that being an asshole is bad. Simply asking the question already makes you likely not an asshole. Real assholes just do their thing without caring. A real asshole is proud of how they act. They treat people with disregard and do awful things without the slightest bit of regard for others. Assholes are careless in the truest sense of the word; they do not care about their acts. They simply act as they want and usually thinking only of themselves. An asshole looks decisive and powerful. In reality they are simply thoughtless and self-centered.

A piece of the dynamic is the internet and its defining attention culture. Attention is sought by any means available. Authenticity is seemingly going extinct today. Everything is image. Meta is ground zero for this. Instagram and Facebook drive the society to influencer’s being the apex of endeavor. The influencer is all about projecting quality through appearance rather than through substance. Substance is about fundamentals. Fundamentals often are invisible and subtle.

“Why do shitty people always brag about being good at trolling? Troll is just another word for asshole. What kind of antisocial sociopath is proud of being an asshole?”

― Oliver Markus Malloy

Authenticity is about fundamentals. It is reality. Nothing about today’s world favors these things. Thus fundamentals are lost. They are not a priority. They are not sexy or photogenic. We don’t really know this, but we hunger for authenticity. Online we get trolls who are assholes by definition. Elon Musk now occupies a role mostly as an online troll and ally of assholes. The end result is a hollowing out of all things. Assholes get attention and clicks without adding any substance. Assholes seem like reality and substance. It is the path to destruction.

Next week, I need to address to complete lack of leadership in the United States at any level.